Net Crimes & Misdemeanors

There are just some things that bug the living daylights out of me. If you're offended by what I write, find another blog to read. I drive a BMW. It's an older one - almost 10 years old now, but I take good care of it, so it looks new. Don't play games with me on the highway. I hate it when other drivers get on my ass, I pull over to let them pass, then they pass, get in front of me and slow way down, forcing me to pass them in the left lane. And the game continues. I usually end up getting in the far right lane and slowing way down to let these numbnuts get far ahead of me. And don't drive next to me in your little Prius or Mini Cooper or other car that is no match for my Beemer and gun it. I could drive circles around you if I wanted to. But I won't, because I like having a drivers license. Obviously, you do not. Don't tell me I should smile. I hate it if I'm having a bad day, I'm tired or some numbnuts has tried to drive me off the road and a complete...

WHO@ Newsletter November 24, 2008 I couldn't make this up if I tried. . .Gobble, gobble! It's a strike, a spare. It's turkey bowling http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081123/ap_ on_fe_st/odd_turkey_bowling;_ylt=AvbZeh_ KqDLz_ES9cI21iNIsQE4F Set up the pins, clear the lanes and try not to roll a gutter bird. Cincinnati is warming up for Thanksgiving with its traditional Turkey Bowl, an annual outdoor event using frozen turkeys in place of bowling balls. Contestants will try to knock down 10 pins Tuesday by sliding rock-hard birds down a lane on the holiday season ice skating rink on downtown's landmark Fountain Square. The person with the highest score after three rounds wins $100 cash and "WKRP in Cincinnati" DVDs including the series' famous "Turkeys Away" episode. That's the one about a station promotion in which live giveaway turkeys are dropped out of a helicopter to their deaths ­ because the station manager thought turkeys could fly. The fro...

I'm looking for someone who is not only a good researcher, but good with their English communications, verbally and written for my organization, WHOA . The position is Online Services List Maintainer, which would entail emailing/calling ISPs, blog services, cell phone providers, etc to get their correct contact info for WHOA and law enforcement. This information will be provided by the volunteer to our webmaster who will add it to the list on our site. I cannot provide the URL, as it is password-protected and will be available only to the person who ultimately gets the position. You must be 18 years of age and be able to call numbers that are in the USA. You must NOT have an active case with WHOA. If you are interested, email me for an application.

Glad it wasn't 2007 when I went to school how about you? ___________________________________________________________ SCHOOL -- 1957 vs. 2007 Scenario: Jack goes quail hunting before school, pulls into school parking lot with shotgun in gun rack. 1957 - Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack's shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack. 2007 - School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers. Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school. 1957 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies. 2007 - Police called, SWAT team arrives, arrests Johnny and Mark. Charge them with assault, both expelled even though Johnny started it. Scenario: Jeffrey won't be still in class, disrupts other students. 1957 - Jeffrey sent to office and given a good paddling by the Principal. Returns to class, sits still and does...

WHO@ Newsletter November 17, 2008 I couldn't make this up if I tried. . .What a bunch of croc Man arrives at bar with pet alligator; cops called http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081114/ap_ on_fe_st/odd_bar_alligator;_ylt=AkIhWhex divkL_jWWhHQolssQE4F HUNTINGTON BEACH, Calif. – Heard the one about the guy who walked into a bar with an alligator? At Johnny's Saloon in Orange County, it was more than a joke early Saturday when a man arrived with his 3-foot pet gator on a leash. By the time police and animal control officers arrived at Johnny's, the gator was in the man's vehicle in the parking lot. Officers followed him home, where another alligator was found, animal control spokesman Ryan Drabek said. Both alligators were impounded and were being held Wednesday pending an investigation by the Department of Fish and Game, Drabek said. Alligators are not native to California and it is illegal to keep them as pets. A woman who answered the telephone at Johnny's Wednesday nig...

I couldn't make this up if I tried. . .Darwin at work Ga. man cleaning with blowtorch sets house on fire http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081106/ap_ on_fe_st/odd_blowtorching_cobwebs;_ylt=A s8ER21fdsfXz8ZqQ.ZLUD8sQE4F Would-be cleaners take note: A blowtorch is not a good substitute for a broom. Coweta County authorities said Galen Winchell set fire to his west Georgia home Wednesday as he cleaned cobwebs from exterior eaves with a blowtorch. Winchell noticed the blaze when he saw smoke pouring from the attic. Coweta Fire Investigator James Gantt says the fire was contained to one part of the house, but the entire home had smoke and water damage. No one was hurt. No phone number was listed for Winchell. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Visit WHOA on the web at http://www.haltabuse.org * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * NEWS TO USE AND PASS ALONG! (DISCLAIMER: The following news items were found on the w...

Yep, I'm celebrating. I'm a half a century old and feel wonderful! Last night, we went out with friends Bob and Robin (who stood up for us at our wedding) and they bought us dinner to celebrate my birthday. We haven't gone out with them for a long time, so it was fun to catch up on a lot of things and just have fun. This morning I woke up to kisses on my neck and cheek. Chris told me to go use the bathroom, then hop right back into bed. I could smell things cooking in the kitchen. I waited in bed and he brought me breakfast - three pancakes shaped in an "I," a heart for "love" and a "U." Awwww. Plus bacon, OJ and two roses. I love this man. He's working 10-7 today, so I'm going down to Home Depot to meet him for lunch and spend my gift cards I got for my birthday from my mom, sister and other folks. Then when he gets home, we're going to open up a bottle of champagne and celebrate some more. I'm probably the only person who was ...

In memory of William E. Hitchcock 1928-2006 Died November 5, 2006 Mr. Hitchcock built ship models for nearly fifty years. He was a prolific builder, and was best known for his stylized commercial or decorative quality models. His refined, museum quality work is evident in his models and dioramas on exhibit at the Peabody Essex Museum, Mystic Seaport Museum, South Street Seaport, the Ships of the Sea Maritime Museum and the Mariners’ Museum, as well as in numerous private and corporate collections throughout the country. His work may also be signed “Arthur Clark,” a pseudonym used to identify his collaborative work with his older son, W. Paul, distinguishing their joint efforts from their individual model work. and Christopher N. Hitchcock 1966-2006 Christopher N. Hitchcock, 40, of York, died Monday, Nov. 6, 2006 at his home. He was born on Aug. 31, 1966, in Huntington, N.Y., the son of William E. and June (Clark) Hitchcock. He was a graduate of York High School. He served his country i...

Chris smokes Marlboro cigarettes (yep, he's the quintessential "Marlboro Man"). He's also been trying to quit since he met me. He has cut down his smoking quite a bit, at least. It seems every time he decides to quit, some stressful thing happens to him or us and he starts smoking again. So to save money, he signed up last year on the Marlboro web site, hoping for discount coupons. He's been getting some nifty gifts from them - a Zippo lighter, ashtray, dice game, but no coupons. Then he got a big envelope in the mail in late September and it was a promotion claiming he and a guest could go to the local NASCAR track in Loudon, NH to do a free ridealong with a racecar driver. It had a DVD with it, so he asked me to check it out. I know that those ridealongs can be expensive - my late hubby did it at the Richard Petty Driving School down south back in 1997 or so and it was a good chunk of money, so I wondered what the catch was. I popped in the DVD and watched the ...

WHO@ Newsletter November 3, 2008 I couldn't make this up if I tried. . .And be quick about it Welsh road sign lost in translation http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20081101/od _afp/britainwalestransportoffbeat_081101 160708;_ylt=AoitZLaI07In5Jkldqo8FlmgOrgF Officials in Wales mistakenly erected a road sign that read "I am not in the office at the moment" in Welsh after a translation mix-up. The sign originally said in English, "No entry for heavy goods vehicles. Residential site only," but when Swansea Council officials sent it to be translated, they received an automated e-mail written in Welsh that read: "I am not in the office at the moment. Please send any work to be translated." Unaware of the actual meaning of the e-mail, officials had the sign printed and put up near a supermarket, only realising their mistake when Welsh speakers pointed it out. All road signs in Wales are required to be written in English and Welsh. "Our attention was drawn to t...

Soooooo, Chris likes to check out the things for free on Craigslist in Maine and New Hampshire. We get a kick out of some of the listings. One afternoon, when he'd gotten done with work early, he logged in and said, hey, there's a free boat in Wells (which is only about a half hour from us). We looked at the photos provided and the boat looked dirty, but sturdy. It was a 16 foot 1970 Crestliner, with motor and trailer. The guy giving it away said he'd gotten it for free a few years before and he had to move the boat out of his mom's yard, where he was storing it, because she was selling her house. He wanted to "pay it forward" and give the boat to someone else. I guess he got overwhelmed with responses. Chris was luckily the first to respond to his post, which this guy had just happened to put up when Chris logged into Craigslist. Talk about good timing. Chris was working on Sunday, so I drove up to Wells to meet this guy and look at the boat. I was going to m...