Net Crimes & Misdemeanors

A week ago Friday, we had our friend Joanne over and ordered a pizza to be delivered from a local pizza joint. It's the only one in town that delivers. Got the pizza, ate it, gave the crust to Bandit and Guin (which I always do) and watched some TV. In the middle of the night Guin began yelping in pain. I jumped up, Chris followed me and she was in her bed, her head up and yelping. We did everything to try to calm her down - holding her, petting her, taking her outside to go to the bathroom. Nothing seemed to work. Sleep was not coming that night. I ended up trading off with Chris on getting up every time she yelped. She'd be quiet for a bit, then start up again. I slept on the floor next to her by 3 am. Saturday was no better - now she wasn't getting out of bed at all unless we took her out to go pee. She was peeing and pooping, which was good. She was also drinking water and eating a little bit, but not a lot. I began to wonder if something had been wrong with the pizza. ...

WHOA Newsletter October 27, 2008 I couldn't make this up if I tried. . .You can put your weed in here (for those of us who remember that old SNL sketch with Mike Meyers) http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081026/ap_ on_fe_st/odd_marijuana_tacos;_ylt=ApGBQe B0agam0V2zE1jw9OjtiBIF LAKEWOOD, Colo. ­ A Colorado couple found an unusual topping on their order of tacos: a small bag of marijuana. They discovered the drugs with their order from a Del Taco restaurant and called police, said Lakewood police spokesman Steve Davis. Twenty-six-year-old Dennis Klermund, who police say waited on the husband when he picked up food Oct. 16, faces charges of possession of marijuana and drug paraphernalia. Klermund initially denied any knowledge but admitted the bag was meant for a friend after a search dog found more marijuana in a locker, police said. Klermund no longer works at the restaurant, said manager Ulises Montero. A message left for Klermund was not returned. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *...

I couldn't make this up if I try. . .Don't drink and click "Send" Google tool to keep emails sober http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20081007/od _afp/lifestyleusitinternetdrinkcompanygo ogle_081007182007;_ylt=AkjQCUbV1Gfp3tmlO YpbSI.gOrgF Google has adapted its free email service to help those letting loose after a few evening cocktails or succumbing to lovelorn moments from firing off messages they might regret in the morning. Mail Goggles software comes to life after dark and on weekends, when altered states of mind are more probable, and requires that five simple math problems be answered correctly in less than a minute in order to send a Gmail missive. "Sometimes I send messages I shouldn't send," Gmail engineer Jon Perlow wrote Monday in a website posting announcing the optional new feature. "Like the time I told that girl I had a crush on her over text message. Or the time I sent that late night email to my ex-girlfriend that we should get back toge...

Chris had to work at Home Depot from noon to 9 pm last night. I hate those hours. I'm usually asleep by the time he gets home. I did catch up on watching some shows I'd recorded on the DVR: House (excellent!), The Ghost Whisperer (pretty good for a season premiere) and Sanctuary (I'm not too thrilled about it). At around 730 pm, Chris called. He told me to be awaked when he got home because he was bringing something home for me. Hmmm. I told him if it was dog, don't bring it home (ha ha). He couldn't (or wouldn't) tell me more, so I waited impatiently for 930 to come around and he'd be home. I couldn't imagine him buying anything at Home Depot I'd want (or need). I finally heard the front door open and he was carrying a cardboard box. He brought it over to me and inside was a plant pot with his work gloves and a chipmunk lying on them. My eyes widened. He said one of the girls at work had found the chipmunk in the outdoor section of Home Depot, near ...

WHO@ Newsletter October 6, 2008 I couldn't make this up if I tried. . .It's just Darwin at work again Man gets burned while using lighter to siphon gas http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081002/ap_ on_fe_st/odd_siphoning_fire;_ylt=Aiy523Y McQCMNhQl9nw_APksQE4F Police said a man was arrested after he used a cigarette lighter while trying to siphon gasoline from a van. The man, who was visiting friends, went to drive home early Saturday but realized that he didn't have enough gas in his SUV. Police said the man tried to siphon the gas with help from another woman, but he couldn't see how much gas was in the container, so he used the lighter to check. A blast of fire burned his hands and caused nearby residents to call police. Police said he and the woman were located later in a store parking lot. He was arrested for theft and negligent use of burning materials. The woman was referred to authorities for being party to theft. Formal charges haven't been filed. Visit WHOA on t...

On June 9th, I went out the front door to do my morning run. I stopped just as I was about to step off the deck. A big black snapping turtle was in our walkway. I got Chris and we debated what to do. We decided it may be best to put it back in the wetlands behind our house, where there was a brook. So I went to pick up the turtle and man! They have long necks! And do they ever snap. Chris got his gloves, I got a box and he scooped the turtle up (who I'd named Bernie by this time) and put it in the box. He looked at it and mentioned it looked like Bernie had been in his bark mulch pile by the garage. We couldn't imagine how long it took Bernie to walk from the other side of the house, up the front lawn to the front door. We put Bernie out by the brook and didn't think twice about it. Then two days later, Chris was in his shed getting things ready to mow some lawns and he called my name. I went to the window and looked down. I asked "What?" He stood just outside the...