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Sunday, December 23, 2007

America's Most Wanted; Prenup; misc

The segment I videotaped for America's Most Wanted finally aired last night. I was on for a split second on screen, although my voice was in the rest of the segment. I went to the AMW web site to see if they added the tips I'd talked about and instead of me as the expert, they listed another online safety organization, then mine as an afterthought at the very end. This other organization is run by a person who has not liked me from day one when I refused to merge my group into theirs. So they refuse to appear in any media interviews with me (I have emails from reporters stating this, so it IS a fact) and insist on being the only cyber crime expert. I'm surprised they let AMW even mention my group on the web site. Grr.

I just hope people who do online dating will take the info and tips I talked about to heart. The tips I talked about are on my blog at Fox Maine. There is also a chapter about online dating in my latest book, the second edition of Net Crimes & Misdemeanors, as well as other online safety tips and information.

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Chris and I went to my lawyer's office this past Tuesday to sign the prenup (official name: Premarital Agreement). Chris doesn't have a lawyer. When he got the first draft of the prenup in the mail from my lawyer, he didn't even open the envelope. I told him he should at least take a look at it. He told me he wanted to marry me, not what I have, and would sign anything put down in front of him. He asked me to call my lawyer for an appointment to sign it and I did. And he signed it.

Hmm. I forgot to tell him about how he has to wear a French maid outfit on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Ha ha ha.

Seriously, if this doesn't prove to anyone that he loves me for me, then this next part will.

We went ring shopping a few weeks ago and picked out an engagement ring for me. I didn't want a diamond this time. This is my 4th marriage and will be my last, dammit. I do not intend to keep up with Liz Taylor and Zsa Zsa Gabor. So I chose a 1.75 carat emerald, not really a pear shape but between a pear and diamond shape - it's hard to describe. I'll post a photo soon. On the top is a row of emeralds that go from dark green (the color of the center stone) to almost white; the bottom has a row of diamonds - all set in yellow gold. It's beautiful.

He had it wrapped up to give to me on Christmas Day. Along with another box that are earrings.

Friday night we went to a friend's Christmas party, then out for dinner and home. We sat on the couch and watched TV, then he asked if I could get him a t-shirt. He was warm. Sure. I went to the bedroom, got him a shirt and back to the couch. Settled down again. All of a sudden, he got down on one knee and pulled a jewelry box from behind the pillow on the couch. I told him he was supposed to wait until Christmas. He told me he couldn't wait - he wanted everyone to know he was going to marry me. Then he opened the box and asked me if I'd marry him (again). I almost burst into tears.

He put the ring on my finger. It is truly gorgeous. And he is truly romantic. He's always doing little things to make me pinch myself to make sure he is real. This morning he made pancakes for me in the shape of a heart. Everyone say awwwwwww.

No, you can't have him. He's mine! All mine!

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So now for some odds and ends:

I start traveling again next month and the following video has made me rethink some things, such as not drinking from the hotel room glasses.

And now for something a bit cheerier:

Holiday Christmas Eating Tips - Let the Christmas Season Begin

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. It's rare. You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-alcoholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat step #3.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.

8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.

10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Re-read tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner. Remember this motto to live by:

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming 'WOO HOO what a ride!'"


MERRY CHRISTMAS!

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